If you know or not. I am not an "official" member of the mom club. After having tried for so long I have finally (Sorta) gotten used to this fact. But I do consider myself a mother. I consider myself a very good one as a matter of fact. I did not learn the art of fine mothering from my own mother. Nope. She was far from a fine mother. She would hardly be considered an "ok" mother.
My mother was abusive. Both physically and mentally. I am still in therapy trying to piece myself back together from that wonderful mothering example she set for me. I swore to all that was holy that I would never have kids. I wanted to break that cycle. Because, yes, she too was an abused child. So years and years later. Meet the man I love most dearly and it finally hits me like a ton of bricks. I want kids! Ha ha. Oh Cosmos you. You really got me good didn't you.
I mention this only to make a point. Just because you carry a child for 9 months and endure labor does not make you a mom. If just means your have the ability to bring forth life. Lucky you. And I mean that. I would love to have that experience. I truly would. But for me a mom is love. Pure and simple.
I am a proud mom. I am a rescue mom. I currently have five of the most beautiful children a woman can ask for. I love them deeply. It hurts me profoundly to see them in pain. I nurse them when they are ill. I take them to the Dr.'s more then I go myself. I go without in order to make sure they do not. I make sure they always have the best. I mourn when they pass. Because I lose my children every few years.
If I am lucky I am blessed with their presence for 4-5 years. If. IF, I am really lucky it will be 6-7 years. But sadly that is not the case for a rescue mom of ferrets. They have a short life spans. And have many hereditary cancers. So my children often die due to cancer. Just for the visit alone it is $50 just to be seen. Then not counting shots, meds and everything else. We have spent thousands in a year on just one. Right now I have two who most likely will not last the year. I make sure they live life to the fullest. Have full tummys and lots of hugs and kisses.
Now today the big controversy. Apparently I cannot call myself a mom. So says this blogger http://www.yourtango.com/2015275999/your-dog-is-not-one-of-your-kids-insult-to-moms. I feel insulted myself that she says I cannot consider myself such. Granted we are all entitled to our own opinions and mine may not reflect the opinion of others. But my thought is. If women can give birth and kill their child they are not a mom. If they can give birth and neglect the child in anyway or let any harm come to said child. They are not a mother.
One commenter on the local radio station that posted this even went so far as to say that women who adopt children are not mothers. I feel like I have been slapped in the face. How is it my fault if I cannot have kids. I did not make myself defective. Nor, I am sure did the millions of other "alternative" mothers who opted to have either adopted a human child or a fur baby because they were not able to have children. But what about all those ladies who can have children but just did not find the right person to have them with. Well crap we just left out a huge portion of the world.
We already have it flung into our faces every year that we are not moms when mothers day comes around. We are not give flowers, or fancy meals as a thank you. Hell I don't see a "Hey so sorry your sterile and cant give birth" day. I could really used a hug sometimes. A thank you for taking in what other people deemed trash (because yes one of my rescued babies that had passed was thrown away in a huge dumpster locked in a kennel so he couldn't fend for himself. He lost cage mates because of that. Just think how traumatized he was.)
I do have another thought. Animals can be our babies. They do not know how to fend for themselves unless we teach them to. But we would have to teach them like a mother would. They have no artifice so the love they show us is true and undeniable. This goes for any fur momma rescue or not. And for those who did not give life to their human child. Mom is love. Mom is security.
Mom is safe.
Of the three of these only one is left. She has cancer and may not last the year.
This is us hand feeding my little man about a week before he crossed the bridge. Died of Cancer.
My baby of the family. He takes that teddy bear everywhere. Feeds it. Brings it to the potty. Sleeps with it. LOVE!
